CWOL - detachment is more about not being so emotionally invested in a situation. It's about seeing what your WAS is doing, but not seeing it as 'being done to you.' It is about you having your life and they theirs for now. Therefore what they choose to do need not really impact on you. It is about observing as though you were a third party and having a rational insight into what is going on. There is some good content on detachment on the site, so do have a read. It takes time to feel more detached and it ebbs and flows too - sometimes I feel more so, and sometimes less so.
Yes, I have read up on Detachment, in the DR book and also on this site. It makes sense on paper, but when I'm executing it in real life, it feels paradoxical. If you see their behavior and choose not to allow them to impact your life, aren't you effectively giving up on a relationship with them? Basically you are treating them like strangers. You basically have to give up any hopes for recovery in the future, right?
Or maybe I don't have a deep enough understanding of Detachment.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
