Definitely use the DB coaching resources here -- they are priceless. Counseling is high stakes. Typically your wife will not share everything about how she's feeling and you will overshare.

Counselors I've spoken to say that couples usually come 4 years too late, at the point that one person is already "done" and is just coming to establish the other person as "wrong" or to help the other person find closure.

My best advice is to meet with the counselor 1:1 before going in with your wife and stack the deck. Talk about what you want to accomplish, what your wife is likely to say, ask how the counselor will respond. Tell the counselor what you want to stay away from. Get a sense for whether or not the counselor is going to help you or not and if not find a new counselor.

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015