Thanks for all your thoughts. I appreciate all views and don't take any offence. CWOL if you look back over my sitch (which is very long so don't worry!) I did everything wrong for years and certainly was a doormat at the beginning of the separation? Now I don't come running as quickly and sometimes not all. I'll certainly think over all the advice today. It is always a fine line to walk with W. I see signs in our recent dealings of someone who wants to keep me there wether as a best friend or as a backup plan who knows? I don't think she does. I deliberately avoid asking anyone about her,we have only been together as a family unit for S's birthday and I have only met up with her on her own. She always thought that S and I would be there when she wanted, even for possible holidays together. She has now realized that S and I won't join in her fantasy world of alternating between us and OM. She barely sees her own son for longer than a few minutes every now and then. She still thinks she is a great mother although her own son has said she never spent time with me before so why would I want to now? Sad but true. She has seen me twice in over two months. Her original idea was to be popping in to see us whenever OM was busy. I'll give her time to keep living her dream with him.If I do pass on the programmes she wants it'll be sometime in the future, when I get around to it, maybe after being reminded a couple of times. Thanks for your thoughts Sotto. I'm in a bit of limbo right now. I'm trying to lead a new life, people have been very kind when I reach out but it is taking time. W still has a strong pull on my emotions, appears in dreams. I'd like to get the stage where I could honestly try to establish a new R but not yet. I have friends through work, some are single and platonic but the majority at my age have their families and are busy. Need to keep trying GAL. It is a long road and I'm fortunate to have a loving S, parents ( a long way away) and some colleagues who care about me. The Mindfulness has helped although I've only scratched the surface. Thanks to everyone who posts, it really means a lot to know that people want to help. I only wish I could give better advice but I'm still trying to find the path through the woods.
