So, I agree with CWOL, my H has to follow through on the divorce to prove our marriage was a mess even without the affair. I think it is a matter of "saving face" or credibility.
That's why I exposed her affair after holding tight for three weeks. I know DB discourages exposure, but I had to get it out there so she can't "save face." She now refuses to talk to any of the people I told about her affair now, as she knew she can't spin the story since I got the facts out BEFORE she had a chance to claim our marriage was a mess. Those who have tried to talk to her said, yes, but really, for nine years (the first contact that I uncovered between her and OM)? They all know me and said whatever my behavior was, it can't amount to enough for her to wreck the marriage and have an affair. So she lost credibility on that.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
