Painter- I have told everyone I WILL NEVER DEPEND ON ANYONE again. Ever. Ever never. Ever.
Txhubby- I'm trying to stop the cake eating but I'm not sure what else To do to stop it? I know I'm better then a back up. I would move heaven and earth to make my man happy ( any man I'm with.) and that's what I want. I want someone to put as much effort into me as I seem to put into everyone else. I am the master of my own fate.
Pink- I know you always come from a place of caring . I know everyone here tells me what I need to know and hear and not what I want to hear. You guys wont baby me or make me be pathetic. You guys all will be tough love and tell me to get my crap together. Thats what I need in my life or else I know myself and how I would be.
I've had SO MANY PEOPLE tell me how strong I'm being and they are amazed with how well I'm handling my life. They just don't see the hot mess version of me that you guys do.
I'm not giving into the charm. I would rather be lonely and cry at home missing him then give him the satisfaction of knowing he can have me anytime he wants.
My best friend who had known my H longer then me and was his friend first tells me all the time that the reason he is so happy is he knows he could walk into the house right now and he could get his marriage and wife back in 5 minutes so why sad? Two extremely sexy girls both want him and he can have either one. What guy doesnt want that? I'm like NO. NO. I NEED TO make him know Im not an option. I'm working on it.
I'm really trying to let him be pink. I'm trying to think of him as being dead or a ghost when he physically isnt in front if me he doesnt exist. When I start to think of him I'm trying to make myself change the thoughts. Go exercise, turn on the tv, think of something random like balloon animals etc.
I went shopping today. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, a nice new outfit, 2 outfits for each baby. Used coupons and spent 25$ instead of 250$. Clearance and coupons. I'm such a coupon master. I love it.
