Hi Sandi, First let me say Thank You. Your steps to detaching have helped so much within a short time frame.
My Wife and I are both 29 with two kids. We did not attend counseling after the first A. That was probably a mistake on my part but I have a belief that if you aren't doing something right then someone will take your place. I know it's not the best belief but I'm just being honest. I feel after the First A I put most or all on the blame on myself. When I found out she was very apologetic and I gave in immediately and said we can work it out. Looking back I now realize that not seeking professional help has put me to the position I'm in now. While I thought I moved on and got past it easily I see that I've held resentment towards her. We never really recovered. I thought I did and we had another child. We've been together since we were 16 (high school sweethearts). The MR was great in the beginning but with our careers and kids and finances we lost track. The divorce rate in our profession is 75%.
The last few days I've really reflected on everything as a whole and the latest EA was because I settled in a state of things are ok but we still fought and argued a lot. Which I feel drove her to talk to someone else.
