He's actually pretty on top of things. It was me feeling stressed and sick. I did talk to him about stuff and he said, let me pull up all our text messages from this week... And wouldn't you know, he'd asked after me every single day. The disconnect was on me. We talked it over a little bit and I'm coming to realize that I treat romantic relationships very differently than I do the other ones, and I need to train myself to relax more into this and enjoy it with the same level of acceptance I extend to my other close friends. I have SO MUCH work to do on myself in that way.
In other news, Mr. Fantastic needed a weekend swap from me and I accommodated him in exchange for some weekday help with the kids while I train for my new job. That went very smoothly. Then last night while I was at dinner with my New Guy (I was checking on the kids) I got an email from Mr. F asking me for stuff out of the house. I put it away as fast as I could but I was distracted for a moment and he could tell and very gently pulled me back. This morning I sent a reply to Mr. F saying that he had not yet failed to turn a smooth interaction about the kids into a request for me to give him something and that if he wanted us to continue to have calm interactions that he needed to stop.
I worry that New Guy thinks I'm more engaged with Mr. Fantastic than I feel like I am. I feel like I spend half my time just pushing him off so he won't try to take advantage of me.
We had the beginnings of a conversation about Bill Cosby last night too and I feel so uncomfortable talking about infidelity with him, because I can't describe what my opinion is without worrying that he's misreading how I feel. I will spend Saturday evening with him and I hope to bring it back up and share that with him, as well as the topic of being distracted over the email, because I care about him understanding me and also because I want to hear more of what he thinks. A noisy restaurant is not the best place for a discussion like that.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
