I lost my mother and in less than 12 months later, I lost my daughter. I miss having my mother to talk to, and if she was here, I could talk to her about grieving for my daughter. Grieving is not something we want to do, but it is necessary when we suffer relationship loss. You truly have my sympathy. ((It Hurts))
I am anxious to read your update.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!