She's thinking of leaving again 4

[Sotto]

Hi Scrant, yes it must be hard with the text messages - and I think your W is currently in deep denial about the impact of her decisions. If you think about it - if you ran off with another woman, are you likely to think it is okay to keep a big ole friendly text exchange going on with your W? Is your new partner likely to think it is okay? It is all fogginess I think.

I think on your part it is a balance between being a willing participant in the 'chat' (friend zone) and not responding and perhaps seeming cold. I don't really know the answer - but maybe responding to 25% or fewer of chatty texts may be about right - particularly if there are many of them. Also, often leave plenty of time before responding. You're a busy guy with a rich and full life after all, right?

I can recall another poster - Rysinman - having a similar issue with texting. Him and his W were at a geographical distance and she was keen to keep in text contact - what did you have for lunch etc. He was very much trying to move on and cut that kind of contact dead. Interestingly, last time he posted they were about to start piecing. Theirs was an infidelity situation too. I can't recall how he cut it dead, but he got advice beforehand from the forum.

Hope this helps a little. Now, onto the most important thing - you!! How are things going with GAL - are you still extending yourself? Trying new things and meeting new people? Enjoying it? Do keep pushing out the boundaries on this as it will serve you well I promise.

Truly, the best thing I have done is the Divorce Recovery Workshop - and others seem to have benefitted from Rebuilding seminars. The joy of these is that you bond with a new group of people going through a similar thing and that is so beneficial. I'm not suggesting you will D - I was at a similar stage to you when I signed up for the seminar and still hoping my M could be saved.

Anyway - do take care and keep posting. Xx