Thanks Peace. I'm trying to figure this out; its funny how such a seemingly simple thing is hard to do with a MLCer.
She's been all over the place again lately (sometimes like turning a switch) and I've noticed if I can keep from being affected, whatever is going on seems to go better. I may even be able to change the mood from what is expected. I'm also noticing how much she is trying to control everything. She gets upset at everyone and everything but less at me it seems like.
She is still thanking me for doing things, like making kids lunches, cleaning, etc. and apologizing for the mess (like it's not perpetual lol), etc. She even left a note for me Monday apologizing for the mess in the kitchen (she used to leave me notes all the time). Maybe she feels bad because I came home a day early last week and the house was completely annihilated.
Monday was d6's bday. W was off, she was supposed to get a few gifts during the day (s and I got a couple on the weekend and I offered to help if she needed something) but didn't so we had to go to the store after going out to dinner so she could run in. She did take balloons and treats to d at school though, and d had a great bday! We are having a party for her tomorrow at a bounce house place so the kids should have a blast.
Last night was tough, yesterday I came home from work and she was down. I was too as I had just read about our friend who died before BD in the news because the guy who caused her accident had his sentencing. She told me a client of hers lost his d and that a friend called and that her sister's h passed away. I asked if she knew about the sentencing since she had talked to her friend (she was bf with our friend that passed away) and I figured she did but she hadn't. I told her about it and she got really mad and then depressed. It's not good for her to have so much anger about this. It's awful and I don't know how I feel about it, but in this case I would rather forgive and wish/hope for someone to turn their life around than to carry around anger and hate. I wanted to hug her but she was standoffish and I know better so I just asked if she was okay. She said yes and went to her room for a while and then said she was going out to get a couple things. She came back with stuff for dinner but it was almost the kid's bedtime and I had already made dinner and we had eaten. She told me I should have texted her and told her to come home (really??) and that she was just driving around and lost track of time.
Tonight was alright, she vented about her work then talked to me quite a bit and seemed less tense, I think her eyes were less dull but very sad tonight. She stayed upstairs longer than normal after the kids went to bed.
Also, since this weekend she's cooked again a few times (making food we ate before we got married) she even asked if there was something I would like her to make. I made sure to tell her I appreciated it each time.
I'm trying to remind myself to keep expectations at zero, to be patient, and try to detach.
Not all that easy to gal but I've been enjoying my time with the kids more, keeping busy but really slowing down to appreciate it.
