Honestly, as an outsider reading this, it sounds like more control. Buying your gas (trying to buy your love). Forcing his way into taking the kids to school Forcing you to go to school on his tearms, forcing his way into the bed etc.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but I just don't get the impression he's doing these things to try and make up for his mistake (clearly, he's still seeing her!). I think it's just more to keep you under his thumb...
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward