WAW online EA and maybe MLC

[cubebot]

1. Yes. Let her experience the consequences for her own actions. However, you should not be in an overall inaction phase. Work on yourself - the only thing you can control.

You're right. it is hard for me to accept that I cannot prevent her from leaving and I am desperate to do ANYTHING that might put a speed bump in her choice. Unfortunately, I will probably just give her a free pass to the express lane if i don't do what seems unnatural. She needs to experience the consequences of her actions despite if they positive or negative. She fired me. I need to work on me. I am here because of my choices and actions up to this point and i need to DB.

3. Your boundaries should be establishing respect.

I struggle with this. I am getting better but still struggle. she is lie a rebellious teenager. I will start to post my thoughts on boundaries as they pop-up because I seem to convince myself they are vindictive or an ultimatum. they probably are, but maybe with help I can alter them to a more effective boundary

4. Depends on how you present it. Say you are disappointed, and you might as well hang your hat. Say you didn't agree with her choices and yet can see why, you have a shot (this part has quite a bit to deal with you growing from this experience and truly seeing what contributed to the downfall of your M)./quote]

I hear what you are saying. I feel like if i say I can understand why she will see that as validation for her choices and use it as justification for her actions to herself. I think she knows I don't want this and should just leave it @ that. Thoughts?


[quote=Squiggy]5. Why do I HAVE to control this situation and try and move it forward???? Am I really following the advice of the people on this board and implementing their suggestions (Maximus just gave you an excellent summary of 9 pages of you beating your head against a wall. Use it!)?

Cude, STOP CONTROLLING. You are being told that not trying to alter the course of her actions is OK. WORK ON YOU. SHE IS going to do her. ACCEPT THIS! DB!!!!

I get you wanting to push and make this move forward. I really do. I got so much backlash from people here urging me to stop, STFU, and listen. I got the rough side of sandi before as well. I'm beyond glad I listened. I really wish you would as well.

I will not give this declaration to her. I do need thoughts on how to address the info that she has requested from me. she

You know I'm direct and action-oriented. Damn near border on being a spitfire. BUT the DB focus of actions vs. your focus of actions are in conflict. I choose the DB side, because it is the side that will have a chance of working.

I too chose DB. i really do try to put everything up here so you all can talk me down from the ledge before I make a bad choice. for that i am grateful. also, totes excited for figuring the quote feature out.