Looking for a Spark in the dark 3

[Sparkls]

It won't be CO or CA (didn't get interviews there).
CO is my home state though and I think I"m going to go home fora few weeks in April. The sweetest place on earth doesn't feel very sweet right now.
I'm going out to lunch/dinner with friend(s) tomorrow so I'll at least be out of the house.And I ended up buying the damned video game (Division) and played it a little tonight. But this whole week has just been awful. Between him getting his stuff, the stupid xbox, and more of nothing from him, I just can't seem to muster hope.
Match is next Friday so 9 days to go. I'm hoping for Maryland but who knows. I kind of don't even care at this point. Its just another stage of my life that I have no control over. At least it means I can work on moving. Give me something active to do since school is such a bore right now.
I just want one night with no dreams and one morning where I don't wake up and immediately start reeling from the enormity of loss.