I Still Think It's Too Late (pt 2)

[1313]

keefa, thanks for the thoughts. I appreciate hearing the different points of view - and it's so strange the similarities. Just like us doing the DB, I wonder if there's a "affairs for dummies - and how to turn it around on your hubby". Seriously? So we're constantly reacting.

I need to get where you are - at least considering her an acquaintance instead of my best friend and lover. Hard transition.

And guys, I totally, 100% blew it today.

I can't believe it. The first time in 2 months the W has communicated with me - and the DR went right out the window.

I was asking for access to the house, and she believes I have a key. I know now she's been reading my email - because I discussed ways of procuring a key with a friend but never did.

Anyway, it started with the "well you've got the key, so just go in and have the courtesy to tell me when...".

I reiterated I don't have access, please let me in.

The next email she basically blamed me for everything, and turned everything on me 100%. It was unbelievable - but it wasn't. I should know better. I'm the one using lawyers, I'm the one who didn't love her but only the money, I'm this, I'm that. Everything she's doing - I got blamed for. She had the laundry list. Telling everybody it was an affair when it's really about us, getting her parents involved (I cut communication on suggestions here what - over a month ago? Month and a half?), on and on.

So, I blew it. Rather than validate and accept, I let her have it with both barrels.

Man oh man. I haven't slept for 2 days, got back from this job - and all I want, and have wanted for 2 days is into my house to use a bloody scanner for 10 minutes. And, I screwed up. I should have stopped, taken a breath - or ignored it.

I just want into my house so badly. And I let her push my buttons.

At this point you know what? I'm not sure that I care. I had my chance, it was email and not face to face. I'm not sure I'll have a similar opportunity. I noticed she CC'd her lawyer on the first one, then stopped when she made the accusations.

Ugh. I mean I was so afraid to ask to get in I actually considered springing $2k for a new @#&% scanner. Something I almost never use. That's how totally cowed she's got me.

Anyway, I'm not sure where to go from here, I ended on "please just let me in. Or, put the scanner in the garage and I'll return it within 24 hours".

Let's say I had a key - why would that prevent one of them from opening the door and letting me in? I mean, if I had the assistant following me around writing down everything I took - wouldn't this be advantageous?

I dunno, I haven't gotten an answer back - so I suppose that means I'm not getting in. I could always try breaking in I suppose if that's what she wants.