REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#5

[- MB -]

MB - glad to see you posting again. I am also glad you found a new IC that you like.

Me too! I have only ever been to one IC before so I had NO IDEA how not helpful he was until I talked to someone else. The first one was easy to talk to, but never really offered any insight or advice on how to change or fix things. I really think this new one is going to do that and so much more. I am finally hopeful that I will get the help I need to work through things that are going on now as well as things I have buried from my past.

I guess you need to look at it from what you hope to accomplish? What would breaking NC do for you or to benefit your R?

Not sure I really hope to accomplish anything today. It's my anniversary and I just FEEL like I'm supposed to share it with my H. I know he doesn't feel the same way. But I would like to at least be in the same room with him at some point today. Just to see him. I'm just so sad today and I don't want to feel this way. Tired of the tears running down my face. Especially tired of them being for someone who doesn't seem to care one bit about me. Unfortunately, I haven't stopped caring about him yet.

As for breaking NC in general, it's NOT WORKING. The book says to do what works. Try something, monitor the results, then try something else if it's not working. Well, it's been weeks....months of NC and it really isn't working. I have honestly tried, but it just isn't getting me anything at all except out of sight out of mind. That's it! I don't know what else to do, but I just don't feel like this is it. I would certainly welcome anyone else's advice if they have any to offer.