My first post - please be nice.

[collin]

Thanks for your help Broke. We went and did our taxes last night. We hung out and talked (not about the R). Last night her friend came over and they talked about puppies while I sat in the living room watching TV. It definitely felt like without talking about it, there was less strain/tension in the home.

She still uses words/phrases like "our home" or "my husband" and it just screws with my mind. Because I'm like this is YOUR home and I am YOUR husband, so why in the heck are you doing this?

As far as the church thing. I'm leaning toward still helping out. It will be good to get away from the house during the days that weekend. I'll still be home at nights, but at least during the day I'll be away. Hopefully she'll take care of OUR dogs. I feel like my faith and my marriage were both on cruise control and I was pretty much sleepwalking through both. So I feel like if I were to back out from helping with the youth just so I could sit at home and wallow in my self pity, I'd be falling back into the same old trap. So, as for now, that's my stance. With as cyclical as I have been emotionally here lately, it's liable to change in the next 5 mins.