I agree wholeheartedly Tx--he is emotionally immature and that puts him square in a MLC, by definition. And I am 99.9 % sure he is already having an A, certainly emotional, probably physical.
Since he not even close to being logical or rational I am pretty sure me telling him to put his big boys pants on (And change out of those skinny jeans) will have zero results. Funny thing is, when we were in temporary reconciliation, we talked about this stuff. That life got in the way, we put our marriage last, that we had to work on it, that there will still be times we let each other down cuz that is marriage. But we started date nights, really communicating and just really reconnecting. At least thats what I thought.
Couple of my observations: I think he wants me to out his A. 1)It came up that his boss is cheating and not hiding it. 2) He left his computer on when he went to gym. Just seems odd. I think there might be trouble in paradise as they are no longer FB friends, and he has stopped 'liking' every gosh darn thing she posts. Also he has gotten pretty forgetful. Thanked me 3 times yesterday for changing his sheets, and wondered why the front door was unlocked---ummmm, because you just went out it.
Being the only adult in the room can have its advantages. If he has the emotional maturity of a child then you can guide him as you would a child. I think you're right about him wanting you to "out" the A, or better yet, figure out how to get him back on track because, being an emotional child, he can't figure that out himself. My wife has told me several times that she really wanted me to save her when she was in her MLC but she was lost and didn't know how to tell me.
