I can only imagine what you are going through. I'm sorry man.
I wish I had some advice I could give you but I just don't know what the right answer is here.
Poor kid is really struggling and his mother couldn't give a damn. I don't get it.
As an outsider looking in and from what you've shared about your W and how you met, she does not seem very stable. Setting her off could trigger a major sh!t storm. And it appears she is not afraid to use her sons as pawns.
I think what this thing boils down to is what is the lesser of two evils? I don't think there is a clear cut answer on what you should do. All your options have pros and cons.
If it were me in your shoes, I think I would sit still for a little while and let my emotions calm down. Hopefully with a little time, you will get some clarity on how to proceed.
