Looking for a Spark in the dark 3

[Sparkls]

Dad has gotten better lately, since I've been in med school. Visits more. His spouse is also more tolerable. Her last husband cheated on her and left her and her kids, so she's projecting onto me. Dad says she's been crying for me (kinda weird but she's a crier)

My roller coaster is similar, I've just had a really rough week. Like, almost as bad as the week right after d-day. Friends are all busy, GAL has kind of been a fail. And with today, I just can't seem to find any good feelings left today. Depression phase of grief I suppose. I've cried more today than I have since the week right after d-day. I'm not a huge crier but it's just been non-stop today. Between the video game thing, having to get tested for STDs (and even that I have mixed feelings about! Like, in my sick, sick mind I hope I have like the chlamydia so I can be like "Hey. You gave me the clap."), that appointment taking so long I couldn't walk my dogs before class and this just constant buildup of anger, I'm just done. I want to cry and slap him and break the things of his that are still here and yet i Know that if he turned up on the porch with his bags and asked me to let him in, I would.