Need help. Threading water, learning to swim.

[G8r]

Hi Mutatio. It's funny that you wrote what you wrote. I had been thinking along similar lines. It really doesn't matter (for the most part) what my WW does or says. I have loved her and I will continue to love her, just in a different way. I am thankful that she came into my life because I have grown as a result of knowing g her and, more importantly, she gave me a beautiful, precious and precocious D3. I wouldn't have D3 in my life otherwise so, although, I have been emotionally wounded, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I've been practicing being more grateful and thankful these past couple of days. Although I still have some sadness, I must say that this thankfulness has done wonders for me. It has made it so much easier to validate (and boy have I had to validate lately). I also think the validation has been less forced and more genuine. I don't really care if it works with my WW or not because it is helping me. It has been giving me a sense of calm because all I can control is me and do what makes me feel right. At the end of the day I am able to look in the mirror and admire what I see and that makes it easy for me to sleep. I hope my feelings of personal well being, despite the loss of my W and M, last and continue to grow.

This outlook has really helped today because my WW has had nothing positive, not even neutral, to say to me today. I cleaned up the yard this weekend while she was visiting her mother with D3 and she noticed it and made comments that I hadn't done it in years. Lol. I have always maintained a nice yard until this past fall when I was a bit depressed because of my sitch. Her comments didn't bother me. She asked if I had this Friday and April 1st off because D3 day care would be closed. I replied that I had to work Friday and I would check on the other day(turns out I don't work on the 1st). She then started to complain that she is the one who always has to worry and take care of these things. I ignored the passive aggressiveness (because I have watched D3 the last 2 times her school was closed), validated and let her know I had the 1st off. She ignored that I told her I had the day off and tried to manipulate my validation regarding being appreciated by telling me that I only appreciated her for materialistic gain (my summary of her words). Still didnt phase me. I replied that tulips she had bought me for Christmas a few years back were coming up (I was worried they might have been eaten because they are a little late this year) and thanked her for such a beautiful and thoughtful gift. She replied that she figures I will dig them up and take them with me when I move out when D is final. I just dropped the conversation at this point and I didn't feel bad at all which is so different than I would have felt a few days ago. Yay me. Self pat on the back. I really dig this outlook and the wonders it has do e for my emotional well being.