Maybe then my heart will catch up with my head and I will truly know that it is over. Because my head tells me it is over….that my H has moved on with the OW, he filed for D, bought a home and told the boys that he is proceeding with the divorce. I would love for my heart to "catch up" to my head and understand that it is time to throw in the towel, drop the rope, move forward, etc.
At least I am not crying. I think I am slightly disgusted with myself for taking all the horrible things he dished out and still hoping that we could try to fix our M. Or, maybe I am just numb. And exhausted. Really. Freaking. Exhausted.
I know how this feels. This is the same feeling of where I am at. I have no advice because I have been in this feeling for..4-5 days now. It is better somedays and then really hard the next day and sometimes it going hard and easy 1735347 times in one day.Just know I know how you feel. I am trying to detach, and focus 100% on kids and me. I think it is all we can do for now while we wait on out hearts to catch up.
Lol! Well, unfortunately, he purchased it after he filed. So it's not a marital asset.
Hope you are well, V!
It depends on the source of the cash in the uk anyway.
So for instance take cash from (say) a pension and buy a holiday flat. The pension increase in value will be matched by the holiday flat increase in value.
I have a great few days with glam sis, such fun, a real tonic.
V
Last edited by Cadet; 03/08/1606:08 PM. Reason: start a new thread message
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thanks Thornton, Red and Vanilla for checking in! It always feels better to get the support I need here on the forum!
V- I am so glad you had fun with your sister! Nothing beats unconditional love from your family or good friends.
Red - you are 100% right - have to continue to detach and focus on those kiddos (truly the best blessing we have right now)
I was very lucky that a friend joined me for a walk and dinner at the last minute tonight. The best part is she is a friend I met at divorce care and she is four years ahead of me in this horrid process. Her H cheated, married the OW and moved away. And, she is doing great! She is single but happy and not wiling to settle for less than she deserves. It is always great to see her and get her perspective on things.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
There is a path we can take, and it can set you free. Your friend is evidence of it.
As I think about people in A's.... can you imagine being married to someone that cheated on their partner to be with you? That in itself would really make me question their character no matter how much I loved them.
I just can't imagine a relationship feeling pure and sacred when it was founded upon deceit, betrayal, and breaking someone else's heart.
Broke, you are taking the high road. And the high road is always the hardest road to take. But at the end of that road, is your freedom and I believe, true serenity.
I honestly don't think your H will experience serenity if he stays on his current path. The universe doesn't work that way.
Keep on GAL'ing, keep on 180'ing, keep on challenging yourself, and keep on pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You're going to be ok, I know it.
Keep it up Broke that is really great to hear. There is a guy in my divorce care that met his new wife there. How about that, meeting your spouse in a divorce support group. Yet we are not out of the fight yet.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Thank you for always being part of my support on this board. I am so appreciative and I value your opinions and feedback.
No, I cannot imagine marrying someone that cheated and starting our R based on lies, deceit and destroying another family. And, I could never be a cheater - the guilt would destroy me.
I also cannot imagine meeting my next spouse at divorce care especially since there is only one very sweet, very young man in our group. Lol! Maybe if I met someone similar to the great guys that I have "met" on this forum :-).
But, I know that I am not even close to wanting to start another relationship with someone else. I compromised a lot to be in my marriage (which I think is healthy), but I also think I became codependent (which isn't healthy). So, I need to find my voice again, figure out the line between compromise and codependency and know what I want before I go out to look for it. I am a long way off from being the best version of me. And, right now, my boys deserve my undivided attention because they need me more than I need anyone else.
I hope that all of us have a good day DB'ing tomorrow….hopeful the beautiful weather stays, too.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I think some people do divorce care more than once. There is a lady in there that has been there for 2 1/2 years. Your right though broke no one in my class that I would be interested in. However, you could possibly be a cougar or whatever they call it. LOL
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Last edited by Cadet; 03/09/1609:25 AM. Reason: Link
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
