Hey Scrant, I think you're probably right about easing her sense of guilt - she's wanting to say - Hey, isn't this great for us all - and for you to buy in. Fact is, starting a R with an AP is a hard road, which won't get easier at all. In that R, you will always have started as lies and betrayal and that carries much stigma.
She's still pretty foggy I think and please try not to spend time trying to figure it out - that's a crazy road you don't want to be on for sure. Try and detach as much as you can - forge on with your own stuff and leave her to live her own path for now....you're doing really well I think - it may not always seem that way to you perhaps, but you are.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus