It's becoming regular as I GAL and making changes at home - it's become a habit. So I wonder if these changes will become expectations?
Are you making these changes in order to make things better with her?
Are you asking if she will expect you to continue with the changes?
I see a lot of newcomer men who quickly learn the explanations he should give. For example, "I am doing this for myself". I have doubts that everyone is being completely honest with themselves. Down deep, they are wanting to find favor with the W......which is understandable. He is trying to find a way to show her the M is saveable. The problem is that whenever these changes are not for yourself, they will fade and you will lapse back into old behaviors or habits.
One way to check yourself about your true motivation is by your own expectations. If you have expectations of her responding to your changes, or just noticing them..........then you might question your motivation. That one is a little difficult, b/c as one man said, "I wouldn't bother changing if it wasn't for her".
I believe a lot of H's are jarred into action b/c they see how they contributed to the breakdown of the M and they want to make amends. That is a valid reason, IMHO. However, his timing is not parallel to his W's timing, and I think that causes a lot of frustration and setbacks for him. He may need to examine himself to see if he is trying to please her into staying, or if he would make these changes if she were not in the picture.
So to answer your question about expectations, once your W believes they are genuine, then she probably will expect you to continue. As for your own expectations of her........it's best not to have any.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
