Funeral for a husband, love lies bleeding

[cczamo]

update: not much new-- bomb drop was over 2 years ago, divorce over 1&1/2 years ago and last contact about 1 1/2 years ago. I still think of exH every day. I have gone through forgiving him (and her) in my heart, and feel sad on occasion, but have become mostly like my old self. I'm still in a special relationship with an elderly man who wants to marry, and took me ring shopping in November, and sitting in private room with sales rep, showed me a beautifully designed, huge rock of a ring. I loved the ring, but told him (and jeweler) that we'd need to shop around more, that I dont know what style of ring I preferred. Actually i still feel conflicted about marrying so soon, and still miss my exH, hoping against hope that he'll want restoration. Isnt that crazy? It doesnt seem right that I'd marry another man, but still long for my exH.

New man and I do have fun together, and I love him, but not IN love with him. The "in love" feeling is secretly still for my exH, unfortunately.

Anyway, just a bit melancholy today.