Still hoping for progress

[daybyday]

Feeling a little overwhelmed again today. Have to see the dermatologist for many spots on my body. I have had so much going on with sick parents over the past few years that I have neglected my own health. I am afraid of the news that I am going to get. I have had skin cancer surgeries twice before and it is constant.

It was so much more bearable when I had my W by my side. It made me feel like I could get through anything. Even though she would probably be there for me now, after having B dropped on me, I still feel so alone going through what I know will be some trying times medically. It makes me so sad. W didnt even wish me good luck or anything this morning.

I know many people go through much worse than me, and maybe I get some good news, but I am doubtful.

I have always been the quiet, confident guy who people thought had it all together. Then both parents at the same time get extremely ill, one physically and one mentally. That took a toll on our M and my sanity. Now my whole world is crumbling and I can't even seem to get a foothold. I know that my overthinking of situations doesn't help me. But damnit, W knows that I have all this going on and still wants to bail.

I have friends and family who support me tremendously as do you friends on this board. I just wish W was there, like she used to be. Sorry such a downer.