Looking for a Spark in the dark 3

[Sparkls]

And I have access to the account, my name is on it. It's still there

[Thornton]

I don't think I want to get him back anymore.
And the video games are kind of a big deal. We've spent easily 2 grand on them in the last few years

Ok, hold off. You will be missing him in a hour. Do not react on emotion. And 2 grand... is that how much your dignity is worth?

Sparks, in the near future, 2 grand will be nothing to you.

Trust me, Sparks. If you react, I can almost guarantee, you will be kicking yourself in a week saying I wish I wouldn't have reacted, and now it's hopeless with H.

Trust the process. NEVER EVER react when you are emotional. It is the opposite of DB'ing.

[TimR]

God it is so hard when they start kicking us while we are down. I am quickly learning WSs do not take the low road, they take a tunnel!

I have a bit of a different perspective on this than Thornton but I cannot say mine is right or just the same as my grim mood. With that disclaimer, here it goes...

First, how much do you need the money? Say if your portion would be $300 is it something that would not make or break you? I know you are preparing for a move soon. Is that money something that if you did not have would ruin the move for you or would it just "come in handy." If it is something you definitely need or may hamper your career path, then I would say close the account or withdraw it all. I also agree with Broke, you need to check to see if it is still in there.

Second, the games you bought together. This is a little more tricky. Obviously, this was a ploy to get at you. Do you call him out on it or just let it be? You do not just want to be his door mat but you also do not want to give him validation why he is leaving. The other side of this is if he does not hear from you about this are you so GALing you don't even have time to play games anymore. What would he think about that??? So really I cannot say what to do in this circumstance. I guess it depends how important the games are to you? I guess this is a personal choice. If you do decide to call him out on the games, I would have already cleaned out the account.

The above is just MHO and not really based on what DR or DB says.

[Sparkls]

the way it works is that you can assign an Xbox to hold your game. It was my box. He has now transferred that to another box (I'm guessing OW).

Video games were a big part of our life together. We played them together almost every night. I don't need the money but I certainly can't afford to replace them. If I did want him to come back, video games are important to that process.

[Thornton]

And maybe you will get him back, Sparks.

But you can't do that if you get into a war with him over video games and bank accounts.

Show him how classy you are. Don't react. He will wake up one day and look back on how you handled yourself even when he was being a d1ck.

You want him to regret leaving such calm and mature woman right?

Don't make it easy for him.

[Sparkls]

That's easy to say, but it doesn't look like he's ever going to wake up. He's gone off the deep end and if I continue to take the path of no resistance, I'm going to end up with nothing and he still won't be back

[Thornton]

Sparks,

You've been at this for a month...

These things don't reverse themselves in a month.

If you are ready to throw a grenade into your sitch, promise me one thing ok?

Wait 48 hours before you do ANYTHING. IF you still feel the way you do now after 48 hours, then pull the trigger and text him and clean out the bank account.

You can hold off for 48 hours, right?

[TimR]

I agree with Thornton on this, wait and think it through, especially if the money is not going to kill you. The approach with material items that I take with WW is that, I can always earn more money but there is only one WW. I am not a materialistic person, I enjoy experiences more than items. So games can be replaced but the damage done if you flip sh!t on him the damage may be irreparable.

Not telling you not to do it, just think you need to think it over before you make any decisions.

[Sparkls]

I just don't see any way out of this pit of dispair. If he's willing to do this, he really does believe it's over.

[TimR]

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad today. I wish there were something I could say to take your hurt away and make you sparkle again. Just know that I and I am sure many of the board are here for you. Try and get outside if you can to take a walk and enjoy the weather. We will all still be here when you get back.