Agree that hearing a recent success story would be fabulous, especially how a couple worked through knowing things were getting better with the R versus this 2nd guessing we all seem to be doing not knowing if our WAS is just gaming us...
BTW, we loved watching Homeland, Downton Abbey, House of Cards, and ironically, The Affair together. Now I just watch them all to help me go to sleep. It's ok. Not ideal, but it's ok.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Happy to hear there is a potential success story coming soon hopefully.
It sounds like everyone is feeling pretty good about things and I am very happy you guys used my thread as a discussion forum as I really don't have a lot to say.
I had a great weekend with my boys. s3 loves the tank we built. I took him to handball practice with me last night and ran around and played. I felt very content with things over the weekend as I went to sleep last night.
S3 and S1 went to their old daycare lady today. It is where they will go when they are here and she was super happy to see them. I has been a few months. She gave them big hugs and S1 Almost jumped out of my arms to go to her.
To address the fb thing. It really doesn't phase me at all. She had me blocked before so I could only see profile pics. So to me te only reason for full blocking like that is so she doesn't search me out or see pics I put up or updates which her family always like and comment on.
Haven't heard a word from WW since te TV show thing. Not even about the boys. Which is fine because we are doing good.
I have seen a few people writing about moving forward but not ready for a new R yet. And I agree because it isn't fair to new person if old R is still on your mind. However lately I have been considering meeting some new people. No expectaions, no R in mind just getting to know some new people. I'm not at the point where I am going to actively look to date, it is crossing my mind more often now. The downside to it I see is anyone I meet will fail in comparison to te amazing women I have got to know on these forums.
Hope everyone has a great day, week, month enjoy every day
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
WW's are funny creatures. Got a text asking to talk to the boys tonight. Anytime is fine she said. I replied before or after supper. Before is fine I have nothing to do. Almost like feel sorry for me I'm alone... I didn't reply.
Then it's hey any chance I can get the other $$ you owe me? I don't have smokes and one of her bosses is MIA. I said nope I'm tapped till pay day.
What about the $$ she owes me? That never comes up. It's getting easier and easier to move on at times. Not forward, on.
The only downside is I kept checking phone for a response. Bad habit I need to break
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
It definitely seems like the world revolves around the WAS, doesn't it? She's lonely, she would like to get paid back. I get the same story from my H. Not that this would help reconciliation, but when you are ready, can you deduct what she owes you from what you pay her?
My H texted me on two different occasions today, so I feel your pain about watching the phone. While I hate that it dragged me back into the abyss, it seems like you have a good handle on it today. Sounds very healthy….I'm hoping to get back on that train very soon.
Enjoy the boys - sounds like it is going very well with them!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I look around at all the hurt people are experiencing in these threads and we are all feeling it, which is heartbreaking. However the amount of support and positive thinking, the well wishes and suggestions to get through it all is truly great.
I don't offer a lot of advice here, there is many people here that are much better suited to helping everyone in many different aspects. A lot of the times anything I think of saying or advising is quickly done by another person and it makes me smile
I find it much harder to live by ones advice than give it here, as every situation is different, advice for someone else may not work for you at that moment. Or you have been through what someone else is going through and you want to guide them down the path that offers the least resistance and pain. My point is none of us know exactly what to do or there would only be one post stating do this them this and your done. But the collaboration of minds we have here is every bit as good.
If you are new here listen, read the sticky threads, read as many threads as you can, so many of the situations have very similar things happening on different days and the advice is all there. Keep posting. Keep reading. Am keep supporting each other.
Whenever you feel down and alone remember there is lots of people here that, even though they don't "know" you, care for you and want what is best for you. Deep down we know what is best for oursleves, we question it sometimes, but we know what's best and that is what DB is about. What is best for you. Keep growing.
You are all amazing people that even when you are living with pain and confusion, you take the time to make sure other people here are doing well and that shows the true character of who everyone is at their core. The type of people, though I don't know you personally, consider friends.
The road is long and hard, who's to tell you that you can't enjoy it for the experience it gives us? And having good friends along on the same trip makes it a little easier too.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Well said, Tyler. It really is hard to understand why so many dedicated, loyal and kind people are stuck on this forum fighting for their marriages. Yes, I understand we all made mistakes that we would like to remedy, but there are some great people here that their WAS's have no idea what they are throwing away. It is heartbreaking to see how marriage means so much to some and it is disposable to others. But, this board makes me feel less alone in my journey. The support has been amazing. Thanks for saying everything I would've liked to say in a very eloquent way!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
The good times can never last. It's been so nice for almost a week. Then today happens. W name is still on a bill and they sent a cancellation notice to et. She lost her mind and blew up about how I am going to f her credit and how did I f this up. Etc. so I called her. Explained the situation calmly and apologized for allowing things to get as far as they did and it getting her involved. I got why didn't you let me know? I said like the 3-4 times I asked you to talk about finances with me and you blew it off?
She is going to fight tooth and nail for every penny that I say she owes me and she said I guess we can't be civil looks like we will have to lawyer up to sort this.
I replied well maybe they can sort it and get this all over with right away. But she thinks we have to be separated at year.
This is the first time in almost a month I have cried for M. Or because of W. I decided that I have to call L though and see what I can do to get the D ball rolling. I don't want a D as I had some hope there could be R. The venom and spite that was spewed at me today tho really shook my head.
Made me realize I am holding out for something that makes me unhappy. That the W I thought I loved is not a good person and is probably the most selfish being I know. I no longer want to be associated with her. I am done.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Talked to my lawyer, there is a couple ways I can do this. I can start the claim against her and have everything done however a judge will not grant a divorce judgment until one year after seperation. So I can be set up, just not final.
However there is 2 ways around that. 1. One of us has to sign a sworn affidavit that they committed adultery. Or 2 that one person inflicted physical or emotional pain on the other.
It's not what I wanted to do. I had hope. After today tho I think it's best for me to give up and move on. I doubt she will sign anything about adultery, and I asked if it specifies physical or emotional affair and it doesn't. As long as someone signs it they don't care what it was.
So I am going to find time to meet. Get things going if I can and as soon as I can she will have the papers. I don't want to deal with this crap anymore
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
