REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#5

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Well, my son got to go home on Saturday afternoon. Sure was good to get him back home, but I do believe they let him out just a bit early. I can't really say that he's doing well, but he's okay. He's pale and extremely tired all the time. Has lots of nausea and pain. He stays downstairs for the most part because it's too hard for him to get upstairs and he says the couch recliner is more comfortable right now than his bed. I know someday this will be a distant memory, and I am ready for that!

It's been almost a week since the accident and we have yet to hear from the school. Not one single person ever called to check on him after their bus driver ran him over. It amazes me how so many people just don't care these days. It infuriates me that they have such little regard for my son. For his life. It's just sad how they have behaved. The bus driver was right back behind the wheel of that bus the very next morning after running my kid over. She didn't get suspended or even have to miss one day! I WILL talk to the school about her, but at this point I am just way to angry to be able to do ta that without getting myself into trouble.

After getting out of the hospital on SaturdayI went over to H's house. I just couldn't let go of the fact that he ignored my calls and text message to him. When he opened the door he let me in but just stood there quietly. Didn't seem mad or annoyed, just stood there and looked at me. I simply asked "What's the deal?" Of course, he tried to act like he didn't know what I was talking about, so I asked why he didn't answer the phone calls or text message. He told me that he didn't hear the phone ring and didn't see the message until he was getting ready to go to bed. I asked how he could possibly not care enough about my son to call and check on him to make sure he was okay. He said he didn't need to check on him becuause he KNEW that he was okay. I asked how. He could possibly know that. He said because he went by my house and I was there. He said if my son was in the hospital, I wouldn't have been at home. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess he felt like he checked on him in his own way without having to contact me. I told him that sometimes I need to know that if I call him about something important, that he will answer the phone and be there for me. He said he just can't be what I want him to be. Not even sure what exactly that means. I asked what he thinks I want, but he didn't answer. Not really sure what to think at this point I guess. Anyway, it was an interesting conversation. He did ask me about my son. I had already decided that I wasn't going to tell him if he asked, but I did it anyway. I assured him that he didn't see MY vehicle at my apartment because I hadn't been there. Whatever. He is definitely irritated at me for talking to ow. I did point out that SHE contacted ME, but he said I should have just told her to go away when she knocked at my door. I told him that I talked to her because I was curious about why he likes her so much. Somehow, I got the impression that it's not paradise with them right now. He told me about some medical issues he had been experiencing. I asked if he was okay and told him how sorry I am to hear he hasn't been feeling well. He just seemed withdrawn and sad like he has been this whole time. After talking for a while, I was about to leave and asked him if he would give me a hug. Usually he doesn't want me to touch him, but he actually said yes. So he gave me a long hug, then I left. I was just as confused by him as I left as I was when I got there. I know I am not a mindreader, but it sure would be nice just to get a glimpse into what he's actually thinking and doing!

Our anniversary is this week. Other than Saturday when I went over there for about 30 minutes, we have been NC for almost 6 weeks. I had wanted to go over there on our Anniversary to see him but don't want to do anything to make our situation any worse than it already is. So, I'm just not sure what the right thing is.

Well, if anyone has any words of wisdom for me, I'm always glad to hear them. Hopefully someone out there will have the perfect advice for me. . I hope everyone is doing well these days.