Looking for a Spark in the dark 3

[Sparkls]

I get there a little more every day. I think after next friday, it'll be a little easier since I'll have a future to actively plan for, rather than just a blob of uncertainty.
I want H to be a part of that future but it's my future regardless.
It just makes me sad that he's turned into the very thing he always said he didn't want to be.
His dad did this exact thing to his mom (except with kids) and now, here he is, making the same mistake.
My life has always been if you want something, work for it! fight for it! Don't take no for an answer. And it got me here. Which is both great and terrible.
I'm a month from d-day. I know it's a marathon, I just wish I had a mile marker to show me my progress, ya know?