Hey Luke...man, life sure has some twists and turns and ups and downs and rounds and rounds...well, you get the picture.
So, it's normal to try to understand why you had to have this particular journey. The thing is that the reasons will unfold when they do and sometimes we never really know for sure.
I do believe that you needed to know that you did all you could. I think you needed to get to this place in this way or you would alwaysw wonder. I also think that it was important to you that your son saw that you tried. You showed him some amazing stuff.
But he also saw some not so amazing stuff and he will need your help. I know you are up to the task.
As for your wife, she is still broken and deeply in the tunnel. I suspect that her health stuff scares her a lot. But none of that is your problem. Doesnt mean you cant pray for her, though, right? Doesnt cost you anything to do that.
The truth of it is that they have to walk this on their own. They cant do that while looking over their shoulder at us. They just cant.
No one knows what the future holds except that it holds you. Now you continue your journey in your wonderful Cali way. The very best thing you can do for her is to let her go. It doesnt mean you dont love her...it just means that you want her to have the best chance of becoming whole one day.
I am so glad to hear about your apartment. It sounds wonderful. Try really hard to let go of trying to figure it all out and just accept that this was how it was meant to play out.
You are going to be great, Luke. Take care of that amazing boy of yours. Be there for him. Listen to him. Love him up.
