I know just how bad you are hurting. I feel the pain too. Just a suggestion try not drowning how you feel with drink. You could yourself more problems. I am not a AA guy, but have seen it just ruin some people and wanted to make the suggestion.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16