The first guy will be forever in limbo until he stops pursuing, which at this rate may be never. In the second situation these are recent events -- I'm not sure the guy is interested in going back at this point. That's kind of the beauty of dropping the rope -- if you reconcile it's because you want to and it seems like it will bring you joy, not because you feel you "have to" in order to make the pain stop.
That's where you want to be
Acc
You are probably right. It is difficult for us "freshly betrayed" to see D as a successful result. But that is a result of our current perspective and framing of the problem, that might come as we see more of our WS's true self.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
