The first guy will be forever in limbo until he stops pursuing, which at this rate may be never. In the second situation these are recent events -- I'm not sure the guy is interested in going back at this point. That's kind of the beauty of dropping the rope -- if you reconcile it's because you want to and it seems like it will bring you joy, not because you feel you "have to" in order to make the pain stop.

That's where you want to be

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015