Where will we go from here

[broke]

As you know, I got a text today, too, after doing so well over the weekend. I feel like my grip on the rope just got tighter, too, because of the text. After speaking to them everyday for years and them being our best friends, it is so hard not to be crushed when they start NC again. It is a high when they reach out and then you come crashing down once they stop. (Yes and I was called controlling, too, I find that pretty funny)

I don't think that they have any idea how it makes us feel but I do feel like sometimes it is just a temperature check to make sure that we are still there. And, maybe, we would be willing to just keep waiting for them. I think it is really still all about them and how they feel….seeing if they still have our attention. Or, are we really as detached as we seem?

I made the mistake of telling lots of people about the PA. Well, if I am being honest, I told lots of people about my suspicions. I didn't really confirm it to many. I wish I wouldn't have, but my IC says I shouldn't have to protect him since it was his mistake. However, while I needed the emotional support at the time, it definitely makes it harder for him to return because of his pride and for us to reconcile because of my pride. Wouldn't recommend it….