Hang in there, NY. I hate NC, too. It feels like they are floating farther and farther away and not missing us at all. But, pursuing and begging didn't get me anywhere. So, I am with all of you - let's do this together.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Yes, you're all right. This is new for me, and what I was doing before didn't work. One day at a time... One hour at a time...
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Wonka? Are you out there? I can't get past this feeling that I made a big mistake when I told W to leave me alone. It was not the dramatic turnaround last resort type thing I was hoping for. And it came a few days after she said she was soooooo close to coming back and wanted to have dinner to talk about us, and no, not just to be friends. Of course, it was also two days after effing Valentine's effing day that she spent with ow.
I am so very uneasy with this NC. I fear she has shifted and even though it's only 8 days since an email, it's making me crazy. I feel her slipping away.
How come she can come to my window (weeks ago now) and look up at me like a sad puppy dog, but I can't pursue her? Augggghhhh. I can't stand this.
It's going to be up and down for me for some time, and I'm going to have to ask the same questions over and over and over. I'm not yet able to stay grounded.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Stay strong….remember the begging and pursuing didn't work before, let's try detaching now. It has been 8 days, seems like lots of the vets on here say it could take months not weeks. I know it is awful to have NC, but it seems that is all we have left. What can you do today to GAL? Or move you towards a 180 goal? It is a beautiful day here in the midwest - a run, golf, bike ride, etc? Maybe get your endorphins going to feel better.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
You are doing so good for having nc nygal.You can do it. I almost died for going 2 days nc. I have limited contact. Only about the kids..this weekend we slipped into talking about other things and texting or talking on the phone too much..and I HATE having to cut it off but I need to. So now I'm back to unless its kids and important then no texting or calling. It is the hardest thing ever nc
I don't have the will... I want to see her so bad!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Yes you can! What can you do that is fun tonight for YOU - go and GAL. I know you can do this….it is really, really hard. I have made it one month without talk of reconciliation and that is a really big deal for me. Every time the kids get upset about the D, I would rush off to H and beg him to try. I haven't done that and it has been really tough but I am so proud of myself that I have done it. You can do this - make yourself proud. Go and do something that moves you forward tonight even just a little bit….
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Questioning telling her to stay away is normal. I'm pretty sure we all doubt the process at times.
I can tell you every time I have reached out to W or brought up anything regarding R it has made me feel worse. It's been 2 months since I said anything about us because the last time hurt a lot.
After telling her to stay away and then making contact I don't see helping.
You do have the will power, the problem you might be having is letting your thoughts linger on her instead of distracting yourself somehow. I understand it's hard to get out and do things when your feeling down.
If she was considering R was it just words? Has she done anything action based? Like kick OW to the curb?
You can do this NYGal. I fully believe in you!
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
8 days is nothing. Really. You have to see that. I know it feels like an eternity but it is 8 days.
Why do want to see her so bad? For more meaningless words?
Not trying to me insensitive but trying to shift your thoughts. Believe me you didn't make her stay away by saying leave me alone. People aren't built that way. She went and got another woman and has treated you like crap but you still want her. You can't believe her being away has anything to do with you or what you said.
No chance
Contact is fine but you are no where near ready for it. You still think contact will fix this.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Can you tell me that NC really does work, and that Contact absolutely doesn't? She was more confused but coming closer when we were talking. They say to see what works, and I believe it was working, just not as fast as I thought I could stand. I can stand just about anything if I feel it's bringing us closer. and I can stand absolutely anything if I knew we would be together again... within the next 2 years, let's say!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
