Looking for a Spark in the dark 3

[TimR]

Oh boy Sparkls I feel the exact same as you I could have written this post myself. Like you, I have a history of if I want something I work for it. If I don't get it and I really want it, I work harder for it. I do not give up and if that something I want is important enough I am absolutely tenacious and will move heaven and earth to get it. That is how we got to where we are. We grind thinks out, like water carving out the grand canyon.

Now we are told if you want any hope (no guarantees) of getting our WS back we have to detach and work on us. WHAT??? and we panic. Cause that is a work we do not know. I swear today I have been on the verge of a panic attack because I feel I am sitting her not doing anything to WORK on WW. I want to go to her house and hold a radio over my head playing love songs. I can do that because it is action. I do not know how to do inaction.

Someone will jump on here and say GALing, 180s and detaching are actions but not in our sense of life. Working on me is more wait and see, IMO.

Having said that sparkls, maybe it is us and people like us, that can gain more from process because we it is so not us. Maybe our WS will more quickly recognize our changes because it is so not us. IDK but what I do know is this is the hardest work I have ever done!

As far as FB I would not change your status. My plan is while I know it will kill me when I find out she did, I will not change my status until there is actually a D. If I were you I would not do it until you are ready to just set down the bags of bricks and keep on walking. IMHO.