WAW online EA and maybe MLC

[Squiggy]

Cube...Piece of advice? Stop trying so hard to manipulate your WW.

Thought about you and your repetitious wall to head movements (read that in a caring tone) this weekend. Let's talk about the concept of inaction. It really is a kind of misnomer in DBing. When we talk about inaction, not doing a thing, it is about not trying to push the MR forward. If you look at the DB book, sandi's rules, and much of the advice here, people say DON'T PUSH. Really hard to miss it when you take a second and look. But what do LBSs do without a second thought? Yeah, you guessed it. Guess what I see you trying your hardest to do? Bet you guess that one as well.

A lot of your boundaries, your most recent 180s (as sandi pointed out), and some of your planned interactions are aimed at the crazy game of trying to get a reaction of WW or to push your MR forward. Is it a stretch for me to say that every time you try you get a negative push back? Goodness knows I tried in the beginning. Cheeseless tunnel.

Time to follow a path of inaction. The ONLY things you should be doing towards the MR with your WW is to establish, strengthen, or reinforce boundaries. Remember that these are about respect and personal values. sandi's rules are about detaching, keeping the door open, and getting space to breathe. Other than that? Drop the rope.

Now, the other side of inaction is about the actions you are to be taking.

Find something that improves you as a man. It doesn't have to be in relationship to her.

Forget your WW for 15-30 minutes, and I want you to write. Put the pen to paper and go. Don't stop until time is up. Write about the things you love about yourself. Then write about the things you should change. Maybe highlight the qualities of men you admire. Then write about the kind of father you want to be.

Really pour your heart and soul into this. It should not contain references to WW or anyone else. This is about YOU. On your deathbed the only guaranteed person to be there is you. Do this for yourself.