Inevitable always happens

[keefa]

I am going for 50/50 but until court date, she has the power and is using it to 'control'. sadly, my solicitor said it would happen. (I defended her when told this, I defended her when my friends told me it was likely she was having an affair, I've always been proud of her until these last few months) I dislike immensely the new person she has become.

At the moment am following my legal advice, biting my tongue, being nothing but polite and professional and seeing the boys when I can (i.e when she decides she has a date I guess) until the courts put it right. But I am seeing them more and more at the moment, which is the most important thing. I thought our relationship was so so close to R a couple of times, especially over Christmas, but I now feel this was me stretching all the way over to her and not finding any common ground. She has not cried, she has not shown any remorse or sadness, it is almost robot like or mechanical how she has gone about things, denying access included. I've said this before but it is like she came home and found ME in bed with another man or something. It is so odd. She has been gone a month and a person can do a lot of thinking in that time. I honestly feel and believe she didn't love me. Liked me perhaps but not love. I have my faults but it seems the whole thing is blamed fully on me and not her affair. because I would not accept the affair or tolerate the behaviour that goes with it, the relationship became toxic and this is her way of punishing me.
'This would have all been sorted out if you'd have moved out when I said' etc is all I got.
I stayed for my boys and will carry on fighting to get a fair solution.