Ghost Busting - Time to accept what is happening

[mahhhty]

Ghost...

I agree with Painter. Take you daughter to someone. Have her talk to someone without you or her Mom present. You don't want to wait. It does not have to be a family thing. It can be all about your daughter.

I'm going to give you some tough love now....

You wrote a card....
"Mother's Day I got my wife a couple of small gifts from our children and I gave her a card thanking her for the things that she does for our children and went arround to my mums house for a meal."

Did you then write her another card thanking her for not working on the relationship, breaking up the family and selling the house? Maybe I'm out of line. But what was your real motivation for the card. Was it... that if maybe she read the write words she would give you a hug and the hug would turn to a kiss and the kiss would turn into a relationship?

Car....
"My W had a flat battery on her car yesterday and I bump started the car for her she did not know how I am not the kind of person not to do this I just feel that she wants this separation so she should have to stand in her own two feet in difficult times I just don't want to come across as an a$$"

Did she call you and ask for help? If so, why not call her a tow truck? Was it perhaps that showing her an act of kindness would bring her back?

Doing your best or being your best does not mean you have to be her Mr Fix It or Mr Nice Guy. Those are positions for BFs or Hs. I suppose there are many different avenues or strategies for bringing a relationship back to life. Multiple people follow DB through tough love, and some stories are about "befriending" people back together.

I think a better frame of reference for you may be this. If you were in another relationship and she called, what would you do?

If you were in another relationship and she called about her car... What would you do? I'd call a tow truck.

I don't mean for this to be over the top. I just saw a pattern and thought it was worth exploring.

Regardless, help your daughter and put her first. Try to find out what stressors are triggers for her and minimize them.