Baby steps

[Painter]

Ginger, thank you for your kind words and support.

I said a year ago that I couldn't give up on my M until I felt I had left no stone unturned, and now I've run out of stones. I'm very much at piece with the decision.

You said something very insightful:

I bet if you ask Painter, it's not so much that her needs aren't getting met. It's the unwillingness of her partner to even TRY to compromise and work as a partnership, which a marriage is, to meet those needs.

It's very right. H's unwillingness to do anything that he doesn't feel the spontaneous urge to do on his own tells me he's a fair weather H and any changes will be temporary. I don't feel resentful, it's just not something I can base my trust and future on. It also tells me there's no point in waiting it out because he's not going to change his basic philosophy about relationships.

We say an A is like an addiction. Well, addicts may relapse. The door has been opened, they know what's behind it and if the going gets touch, someone with high self-gratification impulse may feel drawn in there again.