1) Lack of Trust in Her - Unfortunately, I have always been a "trust but verify" guy, and my "Mr. Nice guy" behaviors of covert contracts and resentment have caused a lot of this. Thoughts on how to implement a 180 here?
I think your timing is a little off with this one. I mean, she is involved with another man! She can't be trusted as long as she is wayward.......period. When a WW commits actions that questions her trustworthiness, it is her responsibility to earn your trust again. Most WW's will try to twist things around and make the issue about her not trusting the LBH, and if he falls for that b.s. then he will make a foolish mistake. IMO, you need to focus on something else, other than trying to make yourself trust an untrustworthy W.
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2)Lack of trust in me from her - This is a new thing that came about due to my discovering her online activities and the snooping I did to confirm. How does one build this type of trust?
Forget it. This is the b.s. I am talking about. She was the one in the wrong, but she is making you feel that you have to prove that she can trust you,........ b/c you caught her! You need to stay balanced. If you start acting as if you have to prove trustworthiness to her.....you have given her a weapon to use over & over. She is the guilty party here, not you!
So, scratch these two and find something else. Find something that improves you as a man. It doesn't have to be in relationship to her. IMHO, this is about you and how to improve yourself, and starting out by improving yourself as an individual. Then you can focus on your connections with others.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
