Did some GAL this weekend but suffering a reaction to spending a pleasant hour and a half with her for the first time in two months. Despite meditation found my thoughts going back to her constantly and feeling so frustrated that she won't come back to me. Stupid really and I know I can't do anything but it just felt so normal to have her sitting and smiling with me. It really is crazy to expect her to change when she has cheated on me twice with OM! I know I have to look forward but I feel in limbo, waiting for her R with OM to fail. I've tried to be strong but I feel like I'm not making progress, I've started speculating about the future by myself and can only see loneliness. I don't want to be her best friend but it did feel good being with her again. Sorry for venting, time to go back to NC.
