I'm not naïve enough to think that I'm over the hump because I know some rough days are still ahead. But it's nice to have a taste of the detachment that everyone here talks about. It allows you to catch your breath a little bit.
Don't get me wrong, I still love that woman. I wish I didn't, but she still has my heart.
I truly think complete and total NC has been what's helped me. I don't snoop, at all. I could easily google her name and see a ton of pictures. W is a Facebook junkie and takes lots and lots of pics when she is out. In fact, that's something that used to bother me when we were together. She was always so concerned with FB.
And if she has OM, I don't want to know about it. It doesn't change my game plan and will only serve to hurt me and cause me to obsess. I sometimes worry about her having OM, but haven't heard or seen anything to the contrary.
So.. I'll keep moving. I'll keep pushing forward. I'm pushing my comfort zone and initiating more conversations with strangers. Most people are pretty receptive so it's nice to chat with someone new.
My focus lately has been the gym and eating right. I'm eating lots of chicken breasts, egg whites, protein powder, brown rice and sweet potatoes and healthy fats like avocadoes and nuts.
I've always been a gym junkie and eaten healthy, but I'm going to really try and push past my limits. It's gives me something to obsess about instead of W.
