Painter, I know this was a difficult decision for you. Who knows, maybe in future husband will be willing to really work on his 180s and there will be chance for reconciliation. Maybe this is just the kick in the pants for husband to get his act together. Please continue to post and update us as to how you are doing.
Zues, I understand your committment to marriage, but when a spouse is serial cheating I really feel like the betrayed person has more to worry about then just her emotional health. Betrayed spouse continues to risk their physical health with intimacy. staying with a husband involved off and on with other woman can be very dangerous. From what I understood, painter frequently suspected husband was involved with other woman?
Also, I am beginning to think that for a reconciliation to really work, a cheating spouse has to be remourseful and truly be willing to put the work in. I feel like the cheating spouse has to really really feel guilty or what is to keep them from doing it again? Life is filled with stress and hardships. It's a guarantee. So if one day in future There is sickness or someone loses job or family member what is to keep the betrayer from resorting to another affair? They never really learned consequences or regretted their actions from before or did the necessary work on themselves to prevent it from happening again.
There are many posters here who reconciled with spouse and then return on here again because WAS did same thing.
I know how scary it must be to take the risk in dating/ marrying a new partner that might potentially betray. But it's actually more scary when you take back an old partner that you know will betray. Especially when they are not truly remorseful.
The ones that are truly remorseful are many of the LBS who are doing 180s, reading tons of relationship books, working on empathising and validating and forgiving their spouses.
If reconciliation is all driven by the LBS then I don't see how it is possible to make it work.
