Still moving in a new direction

[HaWho]

Well, Minecraft is 3-D Legos. It is creative and vastly different from most other video games. But, like you, I personally don't want my kids sitting in front of screens for too long. I worry about their eyes, exercise, socialization, etc. But, computer programming/game design/app development it is a very viable career. And this is how it starts. So, in the end you have no idea if this is where your son will land, career wise.

Minecraft also has a social element to it. Many kids are getting together and making their own videos and posting them to YouTube. Really, this takes a lot of collaboration and team work. They learn a lot from others doing this. Maybe your h should have your s have a friend over?

Will your son be coming to the counseling with you guys? I wonder what his take on his father is. Kids are perceptive.

I see your husband's expectations of your son as unrealistic. Hopefully the family counselor will understand basic child development and assist your h a bit. This is not a 100 years ago in agrarian times. He has just turned 9! I am very curious to see what chores your h expects a 9 year old to do.

As for the present, your son was polite upon receipt of the gift. That's good! But maybe he didn't really like it? What should one do when one receives a gift he does not truly love? You say thank you and you're appreciative for the thought. Is your son a bad boy because he didn't like his gift? Hasn't your h received gifts he did not really like? Does that make him spoiled? With a 9 year old it is probably best to ask for gift ideas. I don't think your son did anything wrong! He is 9!! He was gracious so, he did well.

I agree with Job that your MIL is the puppeteer here. My advice is have your h voice all his concerns to the counselor and hopefully he/she will try to steer his expectations. I hope he does not come down like an anvil on your son because he will lose his relationship with him. Hopefully the counselor can help here.

If it were me, I would try to use the counselor as a mediator to find some common ground on realistic chores, realistic boundaries on video game play, etc. I would probably ask a bit about the line between nurturing individuality vs. teaching responsibility. I think your h needs help with all these concepts. I do believe a good amount of time should be spent on boundaries with in-laws.

Honestly, Mleigh your h is very fortunate. He has "white collar" parenting "issues." I would recommend asking him to go to a nearby Children's Hosptital facility (like one where people with real problems go) and just sit in the lobby for 1/2 hour. There are FAR graver problems to have. Your h lacks perspective.