Looking for a Spark in the dark

[Sparkls]

The problem is right now chasing my dreams means chasing him :-p As far as other dreams, I did chase them, I've pretty much achieved them. This was supposed to be the start of the "ever after" that comes when I've finally succeeded. And now I'm looking at "Ever After" by myself. I know I'll do just fine but damnit I want him there. I want to share this with him.


And yeah, I know better than to send the email. Just feels like going dark isn't doing any good, so why continue to do it, ya know? "Do what works." This doesn't seem to be working, what can I do differently.
I started positing a bit more on facebook. I had largely gone quiet because I couldn't figure out how to turn notifications off so every time I logged in, I'd get a pop up about what he's doing (well really all of his posts are just funny things that he finds and posts). Figure that out at least. So I posted two little brief things. A funny sign that the church by my house post ("we take pray pal) and a check in with my friends for lunch after we went disc golfing. Stuff I would've normally done before d-day but had stopped doing because I didn't trust myself enough not to post sad things or look at his wall or whatever. We're still "In a relationship" on Fb. can't make up my mind if I want to change that or not. He hasn't changed it either.