Squiggy - I started my dream company! An Outdoor Adventure, Education, Rafting, Retail and Rental (SUP, Bikes and Kayak) Business. My website is Fantastic (if I do say so myself) and the online store are live. I am working to renovate 3 units in an old mill (which I am turning into a real estate play and will be renting one of the units to a New Brewery). It is a balancing act as I don't want to borrow any money (I can't afford to) and I need to buy more equipment, etc. However, my timing is perfect. I'm a major contributor to a small city revitalization project, in which the entire local economy and collective team (who are turning into my second family) are SUPER SUPER supportive. We are turning around an entire community and I love every second of it. I love the problem solving, working with people, the potential and the growth and challenge of it. Although I am maintaining my current job (to pay the bills, for stability and what not), I am sure my business will be able to support me by the end of 2016.
This made my night. Good for you sir. Love seeing people thrive, especially against the odds. You should be really proud of yourself Mahhhty!
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
You have unspired me. I was just speaking to a business Partner the other day how I have been stagnant since BD. Time to focus on the next move. Success cures a lot!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
"Don't get mad. Don't get even. Do better. Much better. Rise above. Become so engulfed in your own success that you forget it even happened."
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Each turn in my story has been an interesting one that has promoted growth. At times I feel like I haven't grown enough, but over time I come to realize that I've always done what I thought was right. My strength is compassion, being a passionate person I do where my emotions on my sleeve, and being an engineer I analyze them.
Again the story takes a turn and again I am caught off guard. I was just texted by an old friend. Apparently, the OM is the kidney donor. Her transplant is on Monday. For this to come out of left field does get me a little anxious and provides me more urge to make my voice heard. Again another instance of no one telling me a damn thing.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Hi Mahhhty, it must have been hard to hear that third hand. I am sorry. It's probably best to sit with how you feel for a little while - particularly as the surgery is so imminent. There will come a time when you can make yourself heard - but best to allow a little time and distance first perhaps.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto. Thanks for swinging by. I'm sure that you are correct. It is hard to hear these things and routinely bury them from her. That in and of itself is a big step for me and I've been doing it consistently for quite sometime. Thank you!
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Relationships begun as affairs are some of the most volatile, hostile, selfish and destructive relationships out there. OM is a complete fool to give up a kidney for a wayward woman he doesn't even know as a healthy (un-sick) person. At least you giving her a kidney makes sense, even divorced she's the mother of your children. You have an interest in the child rearing partnership if nothing else.
Part of me wonders...wishes...questions whether this whole thing could somehow be your wife's attempt NOT to risk your life giving her a kidney because her kids need their father forever so she went out and found some sucker to donate one to her...then, maybe she ended up really falling for the guy in the process. I know that's not possible this was a PRIMARY excuse for her - but waywards come up 10-100 different rationalizations and justifications depending on the day to tell themselves it's OK to do what they continue doing.
If OM is at the hospital...and you have the kids and are, I presume, expected to bring them around to visit mom.....I'd consider advising you NOT to take them around under the presumption (which you state later on) that them being around OM is unhealthy for the children since he's the man that interfered in their family and main cause of their parents divorce. It's also hurtful to YOU and YOU MATTER TOO. It's like asking you to come around your rapist.
When the kids are with her she can do what she wants but when they are with you...YOU are under no obligation to expose them to OM like he is some kind of friend of the family (you included) nor some kind of hero (because he foolishly donated a kidney to your wife/their mom). When they are in your custody you also have a duty to protect them from danger. OM is a danger to them. He quite possible targeted a sickly woman with small children because he is a predator. You don't know this guy from Adam. Nobody has given you his name or done a background check on him and the kind of guy willing to pursue a sick married woman is definitely a risk to your children. He lacks character.....so, if they want to bring the kids around him on their watch that's their business (even though they better keep an eye on him and never leave him along with your children). When the kids are with you....they will never be around OM.
Later on...you also may consider a restraining order against OM if he starts trying to hang around your kids at sporting events or school events like he's their step-parent or something (hopefully their relationship never lasts that long but something to keep int he back of your mind). You just make sure your kids never see you accepting any kind of peaceful friendship or even coexistence with OM. That way when you later tell them what a bad and dangerous man he is in terms they eventually will understand, your behavior will be consistent with that information and they will MODEL that behavior the rest of their lives (they you don't have to be nice to abusive people for everyone else's sake).
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
Squiggy - I started my dream company! An Outdoor Adventure, Education, Rafting, Retail and Rental (SUP, Bikes and Kayak) Business. My website is Fantastic (if I do say so myself) and the online store are live. I am working to renovate 3 units in an old mill (which I am turning into a real estate play and will be renting one of the units to a New Brewery). It is a balancing act as I don't want to borrow any money (I can't afford to) and I need to buy more equipment, etc. However, my timing is perfect. I'm a major contributor to a small city revitalization project, in which the entire local economy and collective team (who are turning into my second family) are SUPER SUPER supportive. We are turning around an entire community and I love every second of it. I love the problem solving, working with people, the potential and the growth and challenge of it. Although I am maintaining my current job (to pay the bills, for stability and what not), I am sure my business will be able to support me by the end of 2016.
This made my night. Good for you sir. Love seeing people thrive, especially against the odds. You should be really proud of yourself Mahhhty!
This is FANTASTIC, Mahhhty. I'm so happy for you. That is where I hope to end up.
I'm sorry about your kids' mother though. I hope everything goes well with the surgery.
