Inevitable always happens

[keefa]

Hi Guys, Want to share this. Feel very odd and not sure how to deal with my emotions...could use some help.

Been managing to keep myself busy. Have seem my boys a little more, saw eldest on his 10th birthday and have managed to re-furniture my house and am living fairly comfortably all be it sinking in debt. Am running more, eating better, sleeping better and seeing my boys more. I Had up until this evening a real belief that yep I can do this.
Early this evening I got a text from my sister. My stbxw is on a very popular dating site. I looked and yes sure enough there she is.
I know its my own fault but Christ this hurts. how many kicks in the nuts does it take before its done ? I am feeling very cut up by what I saw. I guess it really is written in caps, bold, underlined and highlighted. I simply wasn't enough for her. why else would she be doing this? I feel weak again. I understand the practicalities of divorce, the logistics of shared parenting, the legal process, the feelings of hurt and betrayal. What I cannot understand is why. What the hell did I do that was so bad that she had to get out of the marriage this fast ? I just don't understand. I get the WAW being in the affair fog etc but this is different. She is actively looking to date. 8 months since ilybinilwy. 1 month since moving out. this is so odd. It really can only mean the whole thing was a sham. I feel so confused again.