So I want to revisit my 180's. Before jumping to anything drastic, I want to make certain I am doing my best with the DB'ing basics
R 180's
1) Lack of Trust in Her - Unfortunately, I have always been a "trust but verify" guy, and my "Mr. Nice guy" behaviors of covert contracts and resentment have caused a lot of this. Thoughts on how to implement a 180 here?
2)Lack of trust in me from her - This is a new thing that came about due to my discovering her online activities and the snooping I did to confirm. How does one build this type of trust?
3)Controlling/possessive - I have not asked her what she's doing, where she is going, how she is spending $$ given for kids etc. I think that letting her make her own decisions and live her life independently and my detachment will address this. Trying not to be a "Mr. Fix-it" and offering suggestions/advice when not asked for it. Simply going to validate if given the change (not many chances though, I think her guilt keeps her from opening up to me about her daily life). Unfortunately, my cutting her off financially is really pissing her off and when we do have any conflicts it is about her wanting her 1/2 of the assets now. I told her not until the proper time in D settlement. I think that a more clear boundary might help here to prevent her from asking. Just not sure what type of consequences to attach.
Personal 180's:
1) Exercise and more active lifestyle 2) New clothes and taking more pride in my appearance 3) Be more social / GAL
