Looking for a Spark in the dark

[Thornton]

That's a very common fear for those of us in NC. That the WAS will have too much pride or be embarrassed to come back.

That's how I felt when W first left me. But she would send a meaningless text every now and then. And very slowly she started to come back around and drop little hints.

Here's the thing, if H really loves you, he won't be able to not reach out to you. It will be too painful for him. If he never reaches out, he wasn't worth your time anyway.

Time will tell. In the meantime, be the best Sparks you can be. Because I know for a fact, if you don't attract H back, you will find someone better. And you can take that to the BANK!

[broke]

I agree with Thornton....if they are really remorseful, they will find a way back. Otherwise, they are not worth our time. Soarks - you are young, strong (barely a month and you are DB'ing like a champ), smart and funny. You will absolutely find someone that treats you and loves you the way you should. That may be your wayward partner or it may be someone else. You have so much ahead of you and I'm confident you are going to be great! Can't wait to see where you are going next.

[Sparkls]

You guys are too sweet. I know I'll get to the point at some point if he doesn't pull his head out of his a$$ that I"ll want someone else. Right now, that idea turns my stomach.
There's a mutual friend of ours who's has strong feelings for me (not reciprocated, though I used to have a crush way back when) that keeps asking how I'm doing. I know he's doing it because he genuinely cares about me but still. It kind of feels like he's pouncing on a fresh kill so to speak. He's a good guy but not what I need right now. Just keeps saying how much of an idiot H is and any guy will be lucky to have me. Sweet, but since I'm not giving up on my R yet, kinda counter productive.

[TimR]

Can you blame the guy for trying?? You are a special person with a great personality. Counter productive yes but let it sink in that guys are going to love and want you. Also let it sink in that yes H definitely needs to pull his head out of his a$$ or you just may not be there.

[Sparkls]

When do the dreams stop? Or at least slow down? I just want one night where I don't wake up feeling suffocated by the loss of him....

[TimR]

I unfortunately do not know because I am still in the same boat.

[Tyler12]

I wish I could help. Maybe I am a lucky one that doesn't have dreams of S. I can only recall a few and they were nothing special so didn't effect me.

I don't like to just repeat it over and over, it's true though. Time. Give it time.

Remember. You are a Amazing person that deserves love, if our S can't see that then do they deserve us? I know I made mistakes and moving forward I will be sure to control those mistakes as will everyone else here that sees where they went wrong. Be it your own actions or allowing S actions

You are doing great, your young and sound like an amazing woman that any guy would be lucky to have in their life. If someone can't see that, it's their loss not yours.

[broke]

Sparks,

Remember you are still early in the process. I had lots of dreams in the first 2-3 months. The dreams have tapered off here lately. The hard part for me is waking up in the early morning hours and not being able to fall back asleep because my mind won't shut off. I hope that everyone is right about healing taking time.

I hope that you enjoy disc golf this morning! So glad you are getting out to GAL!

[Sparkls]

It's a combo of all of that for me right now. I just feel so overwhelmed by everything. And I want to talk to him and tell him "hey, I want you to come back, please come back"
But I know that's not going to help. He's pretty clearly made his choice. I'm just hoping he'll change his mind somehow.
He's got to be missing me, right? 8 years of talking to each other every day to nothing has to have some weight right? Sigh.

[broke]

Well, Sparks, I certainly can empathize with you. I spoke to my H everyday for 25 years ending each conversation with "I love you". It stopped about 8 months ago and he hasn't seemed to come to his senses or miss me unfortunately. This whole weekend I was hopeful he would reach out because he doesn't have the kids and he wasn't going out of town. I thought he might miss us (especially since I've been detaching for the last month). My guess is he is with the OW.

I do think that you have really done a great job right at the beginning DB'ing, acting as if and GAL'ing. It's only been a month, so I think time is in your favor. I've been thinking that maybe he was a little intimidated by you having your sh!t together. You were on the brink of getting your assignment and moving and maybe that scared him. Hopefully, he will see what he is missing while he is gone and you are DB'ing like crazy. Regardless, I think you have a really bright future ahead and you are young and smart. He is a fool if he doesn't come to his senses. And, I wouldn't worry about the timing - if he really wants to be with you, he will make it happen.

On another note, I hope disc golf is fun!